Quitting for Winners

January 2001

This is dedicated to the loving memory of my father - a man who lived his life for others and died fulfilled, loved and remembered for always.

"Life is a trail of trials and tribulations punctuated by moments of happiness."

At university all I wanted was be a jet pilot so looking back, it seems strange that I ended up being a banker. This article started out as an introspective exercise to reflect on how I ended up here (in London, alone and with no job) and where to from here. As this exercise started to take shape, I wondered whether I was the only one with these thoughts and feelings and concluded that it might be useful to engage in a dialogue and share the thoughts.

In order to understand me quitting my job without having another one to go to, you need to understand that I could - the product of a number of years of hard work. But it is more important that you understand that I was living in quiet desperation (as Tony Robbins calls it), secretly unhappy and believing as my opening line suggests that enjoying life was about enjoying those infrequent great times and putting up with the rest of it. Maybe I am different in that I think a great deal about many things but my suspicion is that many, many people occupy the same space. By realising this and affecting a change it doesn't have to be like that. On the morning of quitting day I knew the answers had to be found. When the gravestone is raised on my career and life I want it to read "He was not afraid".

"For every quote there is an equal and opposite."

The world today is increasingly complex, as witnessed by anyone who tries to buy a mobile phone or the latest version of a software package. A great deal of this complexity arises from the side effects of the information revolution - propelled as it has been by the growth of the Internet and increasing globalisation. In addition the growth of capitalism (read Westernisation) and a performance/materialism culture has created an enormous pressure to succeed in society. Throw in a pinch of lessened state welfare and increased individual responsibility flavoured with decreased corporate longevity and all in all you have a fairly unsavoury recipe. These factors all contribute to what is a growing trend amongst young people - they are searching for "something" - meaning, purpose, fulfillment…. As the previously relied upon support structures of national identity, family, state, lifetime employment and religion crumble or go out of vogue, people increasingly search for a new anchor in life. One that makes it all makes sense, spiritual in a way but not the religious dogma that has been discredited by legions of fallible ancestors. Interestingly enough, many so-called westerners seek this in ancient eastern cultures like yoga, feng shui and the martial arts. Life-style and business gurus supplant the religious guide's and throwaway one-liners become the much-chanted mantras of those that do not overtly believe in spiritual purpose but cannot deny the fundamental human pursuit of meaning and purpose. Battered and deluged by so many opportunities and options, many of us go to our deathbed unfulfilled and look back on wasted lives because we didn't make the tough choices. This is probably a good time to admit that I'm not nearly arrogant enough to believe that I have the answers but I am convinced if people that feel like this don't start looking, we won't find anything.

Recently, during a conversation with a friend, an important point was brought home to me - it's no use reminiscing about the way things were because in many cases it will never be like that again. We were talking about sport and my friend was bemoaning the fact than in a professional era, money dominates over national or club pride on the field. My response was to get used it because I don't think it will go back to how it was. That could be a depressing way of looking at life unless we understand that most things in life have a trade off because they are limited, and basic economics teaches us that the choice of one means less of something else. There is an adage that says that success is measured by what you renounce or forsake in order to achieve it. The problem I have is that people who make a choice or decision very often focus their attention on what they lose rather than what they have gained, thus ensuring discontent. In order to distil the observation into the mandatory one-liner, I wish to use the compelling logic of Tony Robbins again when he says that all of our actions are motivated either by an avoidance of pain or the pursuit of pleasure. My assertion is that for me and I think many others, too many of our actions are in the avoidance of pain rather than the pursuit of fundamental, heartfelt pleasure.

This brings me back to searching for "something" - one of the places we look for solace in things we understand is the past but by doing that we risk becoming stuck in an irrelevant place, guaranteed of unhappiness, again because the way it was is not necessarily how it will or should be in the future. That doesn't mean you can't learn from the past, on the contrary so much of human behaviour remains constant so we can predict the future by studying past actions. This, however is not the same as being caught in the way things are/were. Events of yesterday do not deserve our energy and focus for they cannot be changed, only tomorrow can be influenced insofar as fate's parameters allow. Remember that 1 degree of separation over a passage of time will lead you to a very different place. More importantly I think it is it critical for each and every one of us to establish life parameters for the road ahead that will dictate our actions. These parameters need to be flexible because we change but must only be changed with considered and reasoned thought, and yes we can take and borrow from religions or spiritual teachings but it is important that they are our own. In the work context, mine are to enjoy the people I work with, work on a handshake and not a contract, do the impossible and have a balanced life. Maybe I will find a place like this or I will try and create a place like this - time will tell. Most important would be to build something (or be part of something) that is enduring, is not a fad and avoids the incumbency mindset that seeps into organisations as they grow, stripping away innovation, creativity and fun.

Opportunity costs

I believe that we have become short-termist in our outlook to life, from the stock market to health, responding violently to what happens now rather than recognising the trends over time. In this approach one of the things we lose is the duality in choice, i.e. that one does not mean the other. Although we all have unutilised skills and potential everything in the world is finite, from energy to resources and by implication this must mean that any action or reaction involves a trade off. Unfortunately, all too often a trade off is not recognised when making a decision, which doesn't necessarily mean a different decision but at least we have our eyes open to the consequences. Female emancipation is undeniably a good thing but was the impact that it would have on the nuclear family and hence society recognised? If the consequences were recognised could an alternative model or basis of operation have been developed? I believe that the fires that stoked the industrial revolution are the root cause of climate change on the earth through the chain link of global warming. If cognisance had been taken many years ago could political squabbling that is now taking place have been avoided? Isn't it like people arguing about seats on a raft approaching a gigantic waterfall?

What makes some people successful and others not? Clearly this goes way beyond the nature versus nurture debate because many talented people are not successful. Some say it is 10% talent, 10% luck and 80% perseverance but I think there is more to it. People that are successful inherently understand the concept of a trade off, thus justifying perseverance. Like a venture capitalist who invests in ten businesses in the hope that at least three will succeed well enough to more than compensate for the other seven, successful people understand that it is a blend of many internal factors combined with the choices they make, that determines their success. Most of us are not brave enough to make these choices and instead dream of success, thinking that one day we will win the lottery and it will all change. I am continually amazed by how many of us are willing to be sheep, following aimlessly down the path of life never forgetting to complain about our lot in life and how much better off the shepherds are. For our own individual sanity I think we need to learn to accept the way it is or accept responsibility for changing it - anywhere else is no man's land - an unhappy place. I wonder sometimes if we realise that for every person better off there is than us, there are probably 100 worse off.

I don't measure success purely in a business context - Mother Teresa was a very successful woman, it applies equally in sport, politics, socially and in a family. I do not concur with many of the gurus that say you can be whatever you want to be in life, because we are all parameterised by our inherent skills and talents. The problem is that many of us subconsciously lower the parameters and never achieve what we are capable of. I am sure that I will never run a four minute mile but when Roger Banister first did and within a year nine others followed, it is safe to say that any of those ten had the ability to do it - what made Banister different was his self-belief. This belief was a gift he gave to the others when he achieved it. If you want to achieve more - you can, but it's tough and involves choices and you can't go back to the way you were before. The upside is that you are more likely to be fulfilled. Sometimes people do things to make others happy but don't do it because it makes them happy - that will never work and the pain is likely to be worse. As I write this I realise what I'm doing - trying to convince myself of what I know deep down but am scared to act upon. These thoughts have taken 32 years to distil but will I have the courage to live by them, trust the synchronicity that will follow, wade through the hardship and pain that will be mandatory and ensure that the next 32 years have purpose?

Work to live

Why do we work? There are many potential answers to this question and over years of interviewing for staff, I have heard most of them. Most of us work to earn income that allows us to do some living between working and sleeping. I was lucky in that the company I worked for had a higher percentage of people that enjoyed their jobs and environment but there were many that would leave for the right price. I maintain, somewhat naively perhaps, that you would only be truly happy if the work you do fulfils a life purpose as well as paying the bills. By purpose I don't mean that it necessarily has a social context although I think more people care about others than they let on, but it must be a goal, a vision, a dream, an inspiration to give purpose. How many of you will be doing the same thing in the same way in the same place for the same reward in the year's time? If your answer might even be yes then you have to question what will truly satisfy you, unless of course the certainty is fulfillment itself but then I doubt you would even be reading this.

For about a year before I resigned I had a feeling of dissatisfaction. There was so much I dreamt of doing and felt incapable of doing because of negative corporate energies. Politics and verbal jockeying took precedence over ability and delivery - success was all about yesterday with no thought of tomorrow. In business today the pace of change is frightening and the spotlight of attention blinding but the core fundamentals remain true, if not the valuation metrics. I think overwhelming success is invariably linked to a small number of brave visionaries who carve a swathe of differentiation but underlying the growth must be solid foundations and timely implementation. For this reason I reject the New versus Old economy distinction - to imply that success and failure are divided by technology, grossly undermines the importance of people in commerce. The distinction is that some companies get it and some don't. Companies that chant ERP, SAP, CRM and whatever the new three letter IT acronym might be, without having a fundamental understanding of customer service ethic are bound for continued mediocrity. Retail banks the world over have chanted cross sell (sell more to the same customers) for 20 years, without as an industry substantially improving on the average product holdings per customer -- how is this possible? They have crossed industries into broking and insurance, invested heavily in infrastructure and focused on issues like channel management and advice to no benefit. My assertion is that they haven't changed in their heart - the people who run these organisations and serve their customers, fight the politics and control the transfer pricing are all still the same. This is true in many industries, especially the long established ones like telcos, retailers, finance and motor cars. The best chance for the obvious to be done comes from outsiders or attackers. I call this phenomenon The Reality Gap - when organisations talk about what they aim to deliver while the customer experience is almost the opposite. An obvious thing to do would be to ask the customer or enter into a dialogue but it is far more enjoyable to go on a strategic conference to decide what to do for customers.

"Innovation in words is easy but in deeds it counts"

Business and boxing

What happens at work? In many ways we are all boxers on the corporate canvas. We work out a strategy, box for our lives or duck and dive, some will go for the knockout blow which may leave them wide open for retaliation and still others will single-mindedly aim to survive until the rounds are over and live to fight another day. We do not necessarily build, create or do anything that we leave as a legacy except perhaps the rewards. One of the most important things that happen at work is simply the personal interchange between colleagues. The way we treat each other, the way we feel about each other, our vision, our purpose, our happiness and unhappiness will linger. I worked in a team that was brilliant - a group of people that moved as one and pursued a vision that many said was impossible but because of the energy, dynamism and enthusiasm of individuals in the team, they made believers of others thus reinforcing their own can-do attitude. When I reflect, I am sad for how the heart was ripped from the team by personal fiefdoms until eventually it bled to nothing, but I am also enormously grateful for being fortunate enough to work in that team. That experience was like opening Pandora's box because now I know what is possible and refuse to compromise on the environment I want to be in.

That was my glimpse of working in pursuit of purpose - from a social, mental and intellectual standpoint as well as the traditional workplace interaction. People worked hard because they enjoyed what they did, grew because they could work outside normal parameters, and most importantly they had fun. When people remind me of those days I challenge them to find or create it again because to only remember it as the good old days, demeans what it was.

Because much of work life invariably consists of details - irrespective of your level in an organisation, we have a tendency to slip into a routine almost as a defence mechanism. The routine masks the boredom and makes it bearable when the mundane must be done. It is dangerous because it numbs the senses, creates an incumbency mindset, kills creativity and leaves spaces for competitors. For this reason I try to practice the Art of Elevation - by this I mean when you're so hectic doing, take time out to think about what you are not. By adding five minutes to a day you will save an hour, do things better, more productively, and have the option of doing other things with your time. Time Management is taught like this but we can apply this technique across the full spectrum of our lives.

Why is it that so many people have a can't-do attitude towards life? You have to force yourself to look at what you're doing, why, what else is out there, what your options are, if only to reconcile what you're doing is the correct choice. Working at a company is not the same as being in love - you can rationalise the former whereas the latter is driven by emotions -- a dangerous driver in the workplace.

The impact of technology on our lives has fundamentally altered so many facets of our lives and ratcheted up the pace of innovation and change. Change is not a true constant because its pace changes all the time and technology or technological innovation allows it to quicken hyperbolically. Technology has become a loose cover-all for everything from telephones to televisions but despite that looseness of interpretation we all recognise that the way things are done has been changed forever. Because of increased pace of change one of three things will happen, either: we will get used to it; the breadth of change will converge around companies and industries that manage roll-out with standards and launches, or people will increasingly reject new technology.

I think it will be a combination of the three factors that will take us out of the manic period that we are in now, with the addition of new infomediaries that will act as sifters of information and content. Before the Internet, millions of things happened every day everywhere but unless it affected you, you were unlikely to be aware of it. Now however, the majority of these events are easy to be exposed to. On the one hand we are driven to investigate all the options and on the other we eventually have to find the medium point where more information and therefore a better decision is not worth the additional time or effort spent. For this reason it does not surprise me that average individual Internet usage in the USA has declined - this does not lessen the impact of the new technology that indicates a transition from novelty to omnipresent. As always the early adopters will pay more and experience more benefit or frustration earlier but without us all not noticing the world changes fundamentally and quickly. Remember when fax machines and mobile phones first arrived? I love technology and often will spend hours trying to get hours of benefit but generally I think the impact on our lives is positive - email is a great example of technology that has reinvented communication. The only regret is that often we don't use it for anything better, like taking time out to learn something new with the saved time or sending more than jokes to friends.

I read that only 5% of the world's adult population are active Internet users. Again, this makes sense - although its impact has been huge, it is still a very highly concentrated medium - much like the TV first was. What constitutes the Internet will broaden to include new access devices leading to increased growth by breadth rather than depth. This too will come from more countries, communities, industries and people becoming users - driving up the percentages.

The difference between a can-do versus a can't-do mind set will dictate our propensity to accept new technology. If we believe that change is good and that it can't be too difficult to learn because that would inhibit its growth prospects, we are willing to try it. If we're willing to try it, we experience it and in so doing we see the possibilities therein. Did mobile phone inventors foresee mobile commerce? Probably not, it was more likely someone that saw the possibility after the significant penetration of cellular technology.

In order to not only survive but also thrive in a world of change people need to be open, flexible and receptive to new things.

Being receptive to the new doesn't mean a rejection of the old tradition, values and beliefs. All too often, this misunderstanding opens the gap between Conservatives and Liberals. On the one periphery are those who believe that it should be like it was (which it will never be) while others believe that anything goes (the anarchists). In politics, religion and business I find very few leaders that can blend a requirement for flexibility, with a value foundation rooted in substantiated beliefs that will stand intellectual scrutiny. Possibly my basis of judgment is open to criticism because it seeks perfection but let me place on record that I accept imperfection in myself, others and leaders - what I cannot stand is hypocrisy and tolerance of our human frailty being used as an excuse. If ever we stop trying to improve as individuals or society that is to assume that we can be no better which is the fallacious. I am riddled with error but by refusing to accept that I am the best that I can be, gains can be made.

When I started running (which was the result of a bet with friends who said I could never run 21 kilometers), my body was physically incapable of running more than 5 km - but within a year a 56 km ultra marathon was achievable. This is an unremarkable achievement: I ran slowly and many others have done the same but in my personal space the transition from one to the other was a lesson not to be forgotten.

What one thing would you do that would make you happy?

I got off the topic of technology, but that doesn't matter because the complexity of life doesn't come from bits or bites - it comes from very simple concepts, truths almost. As humans we are all unique but that makes us the same and I think that we are more similar than dissimilar. We all want security, identity, love, happiness and fulfillment. Sure, we each have nuances, which are a by-product of our star signs, upbringing, events, thoughts and influences but we all want the same things.

I am an ordinary person, writing this because these thoughts trouble me like voices in my head and maybe I can exorcise them by putting them on paper. No guru or leader, just one of the many trying to make sense of the nonsense of questions that appear to have no answers. Surely life cannot be trouble-free, as that would be hell itself - problems and death are what make life living. Can you experience an emotion to its fullest extent if you have no antithesis as a benchmark? Surely that dullness of mediocrity is not the path we were meant to walk upon?

This is only the embarkation point of my voyage of discovery and I write this as a log of leaving. I have not done anything remarkable (except quit which some people believe is just stupid) but I promise you that I will try. Also, I will capture my journey and when the trip is underway, reflect with you upon the lessons learnt because even failure will bring rewards. When the time comes I will either apologise for my foolishness or commend you to embark upon your own journey.

"Living is easy, enjoying it is the tough part"